Cupcakes are DEAD!

upcakes are DEAD!

Finally! Cupcakes are no longer! I remember discovering Magnolia Bakery one night in my early 20’s (2001), I thought to myself, “Why are all of these people waiting in this long line to pay $2.50!!! $2.50!!!! for a cupcake!” Little did I know that little bakery would lead to a worldwide Cupcake craze, first starting with its own appearance on Sex in the City, leading to an entire series on the Food Network, and fizzling now as inter-office competitions in Middle America.

Magnolia was just the start. Cupcake fanatics are now losing more than just a sweet treat. People built mini-empires off cupcakes, look at husband and wife duo Jason & Mia Bauer. They started Crumbs Bake Shop on Manhattans Upper West Side in 2003 and are now on the brink of losing it all. The Wall Street Journal reported that after trading at more than $13 a share in mid-2011, Crumbs has sunk to $1.70. It dropped 34% last Friday, in the wake of Crumbs saying that sales for the full year would be down by 22% from earlier projections, and the stock slipped further this week.

With 67 locations, Crumbs has been competing with other ever-expanding empires too, like Sprinkles and Magnolia. They lay blame to their ‘Crumb’ling empire on Hurricane Sandy, but we’re calling it as it is: an America population in a sugar coma, burnt out on perfect pompous confections known as CUPCAKES!

Let’s all move on to bigger, sweeter, fruitful, and more humble sweets like PIE!

In the meantime here’s a fun CUPCAKE GAME to play online just to embed the hate for Cupcakes Deeper in your soul. 

by Craig Chapman

Here's your CUPCAKES!!!